kiss-me-electric

it's so easy to get lost

2011-10-19T02:55:00.006+08:00

So… I've been spending a lot of time at home -- too much, actually -- and I guess it's just because like, I don't feel like talking to anyone, really. Is that bad? I'm pretty sure it is. A teeny-tiny amount of people have asked what's been going on but I just… prefer to keep it to myself. Besides, the truth is... even I don't seem to know what's wrong and it's probably because I keep avoiding to find out what the problem actually is (which would help me figure things out). That's just it about me: not only do I run away from people; I run away from myself, too -- or my thoughts, at least.

Maybe I do know what the problem is. Maybe I'm just in denial.

How the hell am I going to fix myself if I keep doing this?

What a mess.

rub-bish

2011-10-04T03:05:00.003+08:00

I always feel like I need to talk someone, but I never want to. I'm never sure why though. I've always kind of preferred analyzing it myself and making up all these theories and solutions about my 'situations' and 'problems' but I end up making way too many so I'm always like... confused. I'm never sure about anything when it comes to my life and shit about myself. What is it with me?

I've faced way too any problems in the past so now when new 'problems' come my way, I just automatically not make a big deal out of it. And the thing is... I don't know if that's a good thing because like, in a way, it's like I'm considering myself unimportant or something. Whatever. I don't even know why I'm blogging.

Anyway hi, if anyone even reads this blog.

sticks

2011-07-19T08:52:00.002+08:00

churros

2010-09-24T23:33:00.003+08:00

To be honest, I just don't know anymore. I don't. But it's okay, even if it really isn't.

unattainable

2010-08-23T03:16:00.004+08:00

I'll never be good enough for you.

fluorescent

2010-06-21T18:03:00.006+08:00

Bam-bi shared a very meaningful quote with me when I was feeling down on the dumps at a critical extent -- the last time I blogged. *Points at the date of the previous blog post. And I must say, it's pretty speshull. And I think I should share it with the rest of you, too.

Sometimes you have to run away so you can see who will run after you.

Sometimes you have to talk quieter, just to see who's actually listening.

Sometimes you have to take a step back, just to see who's standing by your side.

Sometimes you have to make a wrong decision, just to see who's there when it all falls down.

Sometimes you have to let go of the one you love, just to see if they love you enough to come back.

burning shadows

2010-06-05T21:07:00.006+08:00

Sometimes, I feel like the ugliest human being on Earth. Okay, so I'm lying. My brain is actually projecting the words 'most of the time'. And that, my friends, is really, really close to all the time. Literally just, like, two sand grains away, which is equivalent to 98%. I would point out all the things that support this statement, but that would just scare every one of you away, unless of course you love me with most of your heart, and you're a true friend. Yes, I am, in fact, also the saddest, most depressed person on Earth. I know it doesn't really show, I try, at times, to hide most of it, especially when the people I care for are emotionally unstable, because I don't ever want to see any of them as sad as I am, not even close to as sad as I am, because it would definitely add up to my depression. I like seeing people happy, you know, smiling with all their heart. It's such a beautiful thing, and the fact that I don't have that is.. well, it's alright, you know? It's okay if I don't deserve happiness. Seeing people happy is enough for me. But let's be honest here, it would feel nice to feel happiness, even if it is of a small proportion. My time hasn't come, but I'll wait. I won't keep my hopes up or anything though.

I think something is very wrong with me. In fact, I think everything is wrong with me. The girl who screws up almost everything that comes her way. I don't think I can do anything right. And I am always angry at myself because of that. I'm a stupid fuck. I am nothing to anyone. Sure, I'm a daughter to my parents, I'm a sister to my one and only brother, I'm a student to my teachers, I am a granddaughter to my grandparents, I'm a niece to my uncles and aunts, I'm a friend to some people although perhaps some people just take me for granted when I try to be there for them as much as I possibly can, even if it's very insignificant in their perspectives but that's okay, I'm an enemy to some for reasons I do not understand, most of which are immature, I'm an annoyance to some as well, some can't stand my tendency to serial-tweet and I'm sorry for that, I just have nowhere-else to voice out in my life, I don't talk much, if you don't already know.

Where I live, I only have three people, my dad, who does not talk to me unless he wants to know where my mom or my brother is or if I want any food or money, we do not ever engage in personal conversations. All my life, he's been picking me up from school all the time, and it's always awkward in the car. When I was a little girl, he wanted to turn me into a tomb-boy, a butch. Which is pretty cool, I guess, he planted a car-obsession in me since I was in diapers, I had the coolest toys, I was into all of it, I was close with my boy-cousins who are sons to his sister and brother, but at some point I realized I was out of place because he was always bringing me out with his friends and their sons and all and I remember rejecting an offer to be in a football team when I was 6 or 7 because I was embarrassed the fact that my dad was kinda trying to turn me into a guy which I wasn't. And then a whole disconnection between us occurred and we'll never reconnect again. He looks down on me way too much. I kind of regret it though, it would've been fun to be a little more boy-ish as a result to my dad's role of nurture. It's sad, really.

Then there's my mom, who's there for me the most in comparison to the two men. Yeah, she listens to me, she's alright, she's cool with me and my friends and most of my love-life contents, but it's clear to me she doesn't want to know everything about me and doesn't have to know every single thing about me, it's not like I can hang out with her all the time. She has work, she has mom-things to do. And although my mom is the most patient person I know, I can see how sick she gets when I talk way too much and she doesn't really want to pay attention, therefore she doesn't. Which is why at times I just stop talking and I go "nevermind" and just go back to my room. I've been attached to her my entire life, I think I need to develop a little independence from her. Wait, no, my mom and I need to develop independence from each other. I am in fact 19, and in 8 months I'll be 20. I think because I'm the only one they need to control due to the fact that my brother is very antisocial and hardly goes out at all, they kind of treat me like I'm still 13. Going out makes them pay more attention to me, when I'm at home, it's all about my brother. I'm not sure how I feel about that though. I'm still trying to figure it out.

In addition to this, I'd like to point out that I think I know that I am a big burden to both of my parents and I am always on the edge of giving up. In terms of so many things you wouldn't imagine. It sucks being me, it's true.

Next, of course, my 15-year-old testosterone-infested brother. He hates me. I swear, he's the only one I think I can be myself with, well not a hundred percent of course, but perhaps really close to that. Every time I pass by his room, I have to open his door and sit down in his room for like 5 minutes and say something completely ridiculous and just go on and on about it, and it makes me smile, even if it pisses him off and chases me out of his room, you know? I don't know why, even if he punches me, I'm still happy. We show our "love" for each other in the stupidest ways. We call each other the most awful names, we piss each other off constantly, we talk about our parents after midnight, we engage in personal conversations in the kitchen when we're home alone, we make music together, we make art together. I love him with all my heart, honestly, but he thinks I'm a waste of his time at most times. He doesn't wanna listen to me 80% of the time. So when we connect, it's really a rare occasion, and I treasure every second of it, but I don't think he does. He'd never go out with me. It's okay though.

I get jealous whenever I hear my friends going out with their sibling(s), or their whole family and I think they pretty much take it for granted. I'd kill for that. My family, we never go out together, and there's only the four of us.

I am a very lonely person. A very fragile person, as well. There are so many things I'm hiding from the world. I may seem like I have a very colorful personality, but the truth is, it's really dark. I fill my life up with colors because I want my personality to duplicate that in some way but that hasn't been fulfilled yet. There is a big empty space inside of me. I am merely a bucket full of nothing.

Things I would like:

1. The opposite of nothing.

2. The opposite of empty.

3. To be truly loved.

4. Perfection.

5. A brain, a brilliant one.

blow

2010-05-19T21:19:00.002+08:00

Things will never be the same again.

I will continue this blog entry when I finish revising. GAH.

poptarts

2010-05-17T14:20:00.007+08:00

You know what you miss? Me, blogging. Hehehehe. But no, seriously. You wanna know what I miss? I miss the old days when me and my cousins lived under one roof. My grandma's house. We didn't live together in that house forever though. Most of them moved out as their parents got jobs and houses elsewhere. Despite that, we always had the greatest get-togethers when Ramadhan comes around, and not to mention Eid-ul Fitri. Ahhh. Good times. Todo para la familia. Everything for the family.

Anyway. The other day, I was just thinking. Not a lot of people can handle dating someone from the same circle of friends you come from, eh? I mean, it's all good when you're together, but at some point, everything gets fucked up, nothing works out and you've no choice but to end it. Some people just can't handle it. They would prefer not to talk or anything. Not even eye-contact, man. It's like they just block you out. It's kind of sad, really. Along with it, the feeling of extreme, uttermost, bottomless, ultimate hate. Wait, that's not the word. It's beyond hate. It's loathe. I mean, if you ask me, I'm always up for the whole forgive and forget thing, as long as, there's co-operation going on. I'm not one who keeps grudges. It, obviously, isn't healthy. Plus, it's always healthy to smile and at least pretend everything's okay, rather than go all emo about it. Life goes on, right? So many fish, there in the sea~

And I know a lot of ex-items who still remain as friends, and I love seeing that. I go all hippie and shit, you know? Makes me so happy.

On another note, I can't wait for summer break. I've only sat for one AS paper out of four and I'm already planning my summer. How lovely. Someone needs to slap me. But hey, I bet everyone's planning their summer already anyway. There are so many things I want to do. I'm so excited!

And yes. I'm supposed to be revising for Psychology. I've skipped a week of school so far. Going two weeks. Hell to the yeah. Shut up.

meet me in the bathroom

2010-04-30T22:02:00.002+08:00

Don't you hate it when people make a joke about you, about something that you are actually incredibly insecure about. And they don't realise it, but every laugh feels like a stab in your chest, because it hurts so much and brings up memories you'd rather forget. But you can't say anything, because then people would know your weaknesses. They'd know how insecure you really are. So instead you just laugh it off, and hide the pain you feel inside. ...... And no one even notices.

-----Reblogged.

bitch

2010-03-30T19:10:00.002+08:00

Who's the bitch? My damam. Hahahah. Every friggin' time there's a school holiday/mid-term break, I HAVE TO CATCH A FRIGGIN FLU. I hate it. And yeah, it's been a while. So um.. Hi.

Can someone tell me what love is?

chips

2010-02-17T23:26:00.001+08:00

"I’ve closed my heart down, so many seasons. I didn’t want to hurt again, I didn’t want to try, so I turned myself to ice and stone, said I don’t need anyone, and nobody else would ever make me cry."

turtles

2010-02-16T20:39:00.002+08:00

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right and forget the ones that don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it'd be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."

widowed

2010-02-15T00:30:00.005+08:00

So guess what? I'm single now. I was in love. But I guess, it.. didn't work out. I don't think I'm sure how love works anymore. It's so complicated.

Oh and yes! I've decided to come back to the blogging world. Yes, yes, how exciting. *Yawns.

Anyway, I've been so fucked lately with school. I hate school. I hate studying for A Levels. It's so hard. I wish a genie would just appear out of nowhere and grant me three wishes. I'd wish for a million wishes and one of my wishes would be to be the smartest person alive. Yeah, yeah, I know, it sounds childish. Shut up, it's my blog.

I don't really know why I'm blogging but you know what I miss? I miss Indian food. Mmmmm. ♥

And yesterday was cool because everyone gathered at Jalan Maulana to see fireworks at 12AM. I couldn't believe how many people there were! The fireworks were beautiful. I wish I was as beautiful. Errrr, okay awkward.

So yeah, see ya.

dibbs on the dots

2009-11-29T11:33:00.007+08:00

Oh, oh, oh. Guess what time it is! It's... Wonder-Time!

I wonder if it's possible for your brain to melt at a certain body temperature.
I wonder why some people are so fucked up.
I wonder if giving the middle finger to someone means "I love you" in another culture/country.
I wonder why Donald Trump put green apples in his turkey burgers. He's stalking me, I swear.
I wonder when I'm actually going to watch Paranormal Activity.

I know, I know, I haven't blogged for ages. But you know me, I like to leave people hanging sometimes, because I love y'all. *Sticks out tongue.

So anyway, I've been having pretty interesting weekends this year. But I miss my turtles. My dead turtles. Yes, yes, the question still lingers -- why the hell is Lynz so random? Well, the answer to that is that obvious. When I was like 2, I fell a flight of stairs. 20 steps, thanks to that goddamn maid who was supposedly looking after me. But yeah, I guess I should thank her. Due to her intensive care for me, I have such a slow brain, and not to mention unorganized. I'm so random. I think I hate it. But god bless my ability to bake. Or maybe I suck at that too, I just don't know it. Ah well, fuck it.

Shit, that reminds me. So I've been thinking, right? And I've concluded that.. I don't like where I'm going with my life. I wanna do something that involves art and design or cooking or something. I changed my mind about working for the forensics. My brain can't handle it. I'm too much of a bimbo. Yes, that's a very very bad thing. I need to get out of this road and find one that leads me to my real dreams. Sigh. But it's okay.. It's okay. Ugh. Shit.

Oh, speaking of shit. I still hate that stupid bitch. God, if only you knew how much I hate you. But talking to you or looking at your face for even 0.2 micro-seconds would be such an enormous waste of my time. You ungrateful son-of-a-bitch, you don't deserve anything, you might as well move to Papua New Guinea or something. I don't like you. Therefore, you shouldn't be even 293108222 meters within my air. MY AIR, BITCH, MY FUCKING AIR.

Anyway. Heh. Whoa, ungrateful bitch has a whole paragraph dedicated to her on my blog. How lucky. *Gives middle finger as a gesture of unconditional LOATHE.

So yeah, oh. And Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha, everyone. ♥

PS. I hope I never fuckin' bump into you anywhere today, you goddamn bitch. You better not breathe my air or you'll fuckin' get it, motherfucker. And I fucking mean it.

dingdongs

2009-08-23T02:36:00.006+08:00

I'm a bit confused about almost everything. Okay, maybe that was a lie. A big one. To tell you the truth, I'm really confused about every-fucking-thing. How the hell is one very indecisive girl supposed to make a big decision? There's too much to think about, too many things to decide on. Not that I stress myself out by using up my brain capacity just because of all this though, I mean, most of the time, I just can't be bothered to think about all this. Plus, I am one who is used to running away from problems and I am one who does not need explanations for things that stress me out just by thinking about them one tiny bit. I don't think these problems are really a major thing in my life right now though but sometimes, I just wonder, you know, like if I'm doing things right and if I'll ever make the right decision. But then again, what is right? Is there really the right way to do anything for that matter? Ah well, whatever.

Maybe it isn't really that important at this age. I guess. I mean, it's not like I'm 27 or anything. Hehehehehehehe, yeah I chose 27 because I was born on the 27th day of the 2nd month of the year. Okay, let's not get distracted. Focus, man. Focus.

So I have something really important to share with you guys. Really important. Like, really.
I know right?! Isn't it like, the most brilliant invention ever? It doesn't really do anything though, it just makes you look awesome. *Dances around like a doofus.

heartbomb

2009-08-14T00:04:00.009+08:00

I swear God answered my prayers in just 4 days. On August 2nd, I blogged something that technically spelled out desperation. Yes, go ahead and scroll down if you wish to see proof. So then on the 6th, I had such a big smile on my face it was probably capable of lighting up the whole district. Hell yeah, on that day, I got what I wanted.

I've met someone. And I think he's really great. Funny thing is, the thought of being with him had never crossed my mind, especially not six years ago when I first laid eyes on his fine piece of... Never mind. Okay, I was kidding. I never checked his ass out when I was a friggin' twelve-year-old, okay? I was way too cool for that. *Sticks out tongue.

Anyway, I found him when I was checking out old photos someone scanned and posted on Facebook from decades ago. (Yes, that was just an exaggeration. I meant like, five to six years ago, or maybe seven? Anyway..) And then I saw a familiar face, so I kept browsing through the photos just to make sure it was him. "Oh.. my.. god.. Is that..? No.. It can't be..", I kept thinking to myself. So I kept on like, flipping through the photos. And then I saw his name. And then I blinked, and then......And and that's how we ended up together. I know, right?!

Only certain people I was close to back then remember how much of a big crush I had on him. Yeah, yeah, six years ago. Six fucking years ago. Awww shucks. I think I'm blushing. Hahahahahahaha. So yeah, I'm not going to be all typical and try real hard to make him seem like the bestest person in the whole world. But I will tell you, he's awesome. Because he really listens. And I don't mean just listen, you know what I'm saying? He gives me a whole package of goodness when I really need it. And I really think he's influencing me to be a good person. Ferreal, y'all.

Okay, so I'm lame. So what? At least I'm not talking about tying shoelaces to... Never mind. :)

On another note, Les Paul died at 94. Yes, THE Les Paul. Rest in peace, old pal. We love you. Here's something yummy I made for ya. Okay, okay, so I lied. I didn't make this. But there was a little truth in that sentence --- it is yummy.

mould

2009-08-07T01:37:00.004+08:00

Greetings, fellow martians. I'd like to share a few random things with you. First of all, Haz did not buy me a turtle before he left for KL. (Yeah, I'd like to point that out for no reason. Mehehehehehe *Sticks out tongue.) But it's okay because on the day that he left for KL, I bought myself two turtles. And I was gonna call him just to tell him that, but his phone was off or something, I think his flight was at 7 or 6 and I was gonna call him at around that time as well. Anyway, yeah. I named them Disco and Kiss and you know why. Yeahhhh, that's right y'all... because I'm super duper awesome.

Speaking of martians, and yes I know I'm rather slow, but I just friggin' knew about the UFO video thingy that was recorded by some guy in Lumut or something. I wonder if it's true.

So yeah, turtles are so cool, you'd never know how fat or skinny they are 'cause they've got shells as a permanent 'clothing'. You'll never know the ugly, sexy truth behind that hardcore piece of shell. Damn. I mean.. not that that's the only reason I think they're cool though. Heh-heh-heh-heh. Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! My turtles won't eat. Dumbasses. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'd never call them that. *Flips hair.

"The things that people in love do to each other, they remember. And if they stay together it’s not because they forget, it’s because they forgive." ♥

eleventy-five

2009-08-02T17:55:00.002+08:00

I wonder what life will bring me next as of tomorrow. You know, since it's a new week. Happy new week, lovers! Ahh, why the hell am I so weird? Wait, no, don't answer that. I don't want to know. I think.

Anyway, I've been feeling so empty lately and I think it's because I haven't been playing Left 4 Dead. Hahahahahahaha. Well, it sounds logical, doesn't it? Yes. Well, I'm not sure, to be honest but I have come up with a list of possible reasons for my condition:

Okay, okay, so it isn't actually a complete list yet, but I'm getting there. I just... happen to have a few distractions. Well, okay, maybe 239283 distractions..... but umm, I promise I'll get the list done. *Puts on innocent and so-called adorable face.

I miss metalheads. <3

pie

2009-07-24T01:43:00.002+08:00

Guess what you guys, it wasn't my grandma's birthday on the 22nd. It's on the 27th. I always get 227 and 277 mixed up. Ugh, I hate me. Hahahaha. Anyway, yeah. Hi, I'm cool.

meatballs

2009-07-22T02:11:00.004+08:00

I get so scared of so many things so easily and I used the word 'so' three times in a sentence. No wait, 4. And y'know what that means? It means that I'm as awesome as Wonder Woman is. Sweet.

So it's 22nd July and it's 2.15AM. I thought I'd blog because, well, I heard rumors that there'll be a tsunami or something and it'll affect Borneo. Some people say it isn't true, some say it is. I'm not sure myself but it's better to be safe than sorry, right? Right. Oh and it's also my dear granny's birthday. Happy birthday U'wan! Yeah, that's what we call her. 'Cause we're part Malaysians, biatch, so eat yer heart out. Okay, okay. Enough of my ridiculous random fits.

On another note, I hate gastric. And that's something you've all heard me say before. Gastric is my worst enemy. It has been for so many years. I wish it was possible to make it extinct. I know, I know. It's ridiculous. You might as well throw a shoe at me.

Oh, my god. I remember like 4 years ago, or something when YouTube did not exist, Max introduced me to Straylight Run and I was in love with them eversince. And as of this moment, I just remembered the band name and the name of the song! Oh, my fucking god. It's a miracle. I've been dying for 3 years trying to remember at least one word from the title of the song or the name of the band. Shit, I can't believe I finally got it. This calls for a celebration. We need pizza. Oh, wait. It's past midnight.

'05 and '06 were good old years, man. Good times, good times. *Puts on corny smile.

you make me crazier

2009-07-20T23:27:00.004+08:00

I just realised how much of a beautiful person you are. ♥
How do you do it so effortlessly?

I went out with the guys today. They never fail to make me laugh. Oh, and I've heard of stealing boyfriends/girlfriends but I've never heard of stealing friends. Friends are for sharing. And everyone knows sharing is caring. I guess you're just too much full of hate because you didn't watch enough Barney. Stop being mean. Stop accusing me as if I'm a bad person. Grow up, get over it.

My abdomen hurts because Mr. Gastric decided to attack me today. I think the veggies in the Mee Mamak I had with Basyirah yesterday reacted with something in my tummy. Eugh. I barfed so many times this morning for almost 3-4 hours. It was the most ugliest feeling on Earth, no doubt about it.

i want flowers

2009-07-16T16:00:00.006+08:00

My mom told me to text my dad something but I couldn't hear her and told her to repeat what she wanted me to type in the text and you know what? She practically screamed, shouted the words at me and I felt the hate. God, ever since I made the decision to sdkfsdhfieufdhks she's been treating me like I'm a dog or something. Whatever. I'm out. Gonna catch Harry Potter.

they don't really care about us

2009-07-07T23:29:00.009+08:00

Ahhhh, Michael is an angel. ♥
How silly is it to miss someone you haven't even met before?

I don't think anybody knows what they're doing. I mean, think about it. How do people actually know what's wrong and what's right? I don't think anybody is ever sure what they're actually doing unless there's a textbook on how to do everything. I mean, the people who write all that crap are only writing their assumptions and according to their own personal perspectives, right? People who write instructions or guidelines or any kind of textbook are only assuming something's right and expect other people to do the same or whatever. I mean, this is just a random thought. I'm not complaining or anything. Don't get me wrong. I think about a lot of weird things, a lot. Maybe even way too much. But yeah, I don't think there actually is wrong and right in this world. Just.. theoretical wrong and theoretical right. Excluding all religious matters, of course. And excluding Michael Jackson 'cause the man sure knew what he was doing. He's beautiful. Such a babe. I'm busy watching CNN right now. Yes, it's all on Michael Jackson, again. I'm terribly sorry but I love him to bits and pieces and I'll leave you with this:

You've to watch this as well because its AWESOME multiplied by a million, divided by one.

everything means nothing

2009-07-02T22:04:00.002+08:00

I'm never good enough.
I'm never good enough.
I'm never good enough.
I'm so confused about everything that's going on right now. I wonder when I'll ever be good enough for anything at all. I wonder why there are people in this world who think they can just judge and say whatever-the-hell they want to straight to people's faces without considering their feelings.

you rocked my world, you know you did.

2009-06-26T12:17:00.014+08:00

Today, the world experienced an enormous loss -- the moon-walking genius; the king of pop; the last legend, Michael Jackson was pronounced dead due to cardiac arrest. I can't believe it. I just can't.
Jermaine Jackson – “And may Allah be with you Michael always. I love you.”
And tonight, apparently, ABC, CBS and NBC are reworking their primetime lineups tonight to make room for coverage of the singer; the legendary king of pop, Michael Jackson and the passing of the gorgeous actress Farrah Fawcett.

My favourite tweets today:

1. John Mayer -- "I truly hope he is memorialized as the '83 moonwalking, MTV owning, mesmerizing, unstoppable, invincible Michael Jackson."

2. Mark Hoppus -- "The first album I ever bought was thriller. With my birthday money. On cassette for my brand new Sony Walkman. Truth. Rest in peace."

falling uphill

2009-06-21T01:32:00.005+08:00

Today, I sort of came to the conclusion that um, maybe, just maybe, I don't want to get married. Well, either that or I'd like to get married 27 times so I'd get to wear 27 different wedding outfits because I'm pretty convinced that eternal love does not exist in this world. And you know what else doesn't exist? Well, only in my world, that is. Respect, that's what. But I pretty much think most women don't get respect from men anyway so I'm not alone. But I guess it's just how everything works; like um, cereal's dry and milk's wet -- they're opposites (stating the obvious). One side doesn't have what the other one has, therefore they (most likely) need each other. Ahhhh, whatever. I don't know shit.

Anyway, I just realized how hard it is for girls to properly pee in a bottle or a small container or jar without having to get our hands dirty. And fuck no, it was certainly not just for fun or out of boredom, we actually did something useful at the hospital today and saw... Nevermind.

I need:
1. A real Sakura tree.
2. A tyre swing tied to the Sakura tree previously mentioned.
3. A little appreciation, acknowledgement and respect.

the naked truth

2009-06-10T09:24:00.006+08:00

What?! Demi Lovato and Trace Cyrus? Uhhhhh, I mean... Hello, dearest readers. I know what you're thinking. And no, I'm not drunk. I know I've never really been into this whole celebrity gossip world thing but yeah, I ran out of things to do. Is this a sign? Am I going to die soon? Nahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Oh, and yesterday morning, I received an acceptance letter from Jerudong International School which means, I'll be leaving SMSA. Party, anyone?

I've nothing on but a towel and I just wanted you to know. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. *Sticks out tongue.

Hmmm. I had an interesting conversation with a little bird named Yen Arbi Bungsu who claims that he's Johnny Depp and is dating Colbie Caillat and on random days, Kim Kardashian. (Yes, we were being very random)

Yen
well hello there

Lynz
omg! hiiiiiiii!
what brings you to brunei?

Yen
well...the culture..i guess

Lynz
i see, whats so interesting about it?

Yen
hmm...the agricultural system

Lynz
oh, i see. but we dont have hydrophonics to grow weed indoors, that kind of sucks, doesnt it?

Yen
well i quit on marijuana 7 years ago..so now im more fond of cocaine

Lynz
that's quite interesting, i must say. what does cocaine actually do to your brain?

Yen
aggresivity
hmm i believe aggresivity is not even a word

Lynz
I see, so that's what cocaine does to you huh? It makes you think words like aggresivity is a real word.

Yen
yeah
hahahaha

PS. Check out The Used's new album cover -- Art injected to work. Artwork, get it, get it, get it? Shit, I'm such a loser. Nevertheless, an insanely fucking awesome loser.

intricate

2009-05-31T12:34:00.003+08:00

It's so sad to see an animal chase a bait that keeps being pulled away. But you know what isn't so sad? I think I can actually count the number of times I've felt like shit this year. Yes, it is amazing. *Smiles with pride.

Anyway, I broke a promise -- I did not organize my dressing room yet because I've been experiencing this strange thing called laziness. I hate it but it loves me so much I can't bare to kick it out of my fucking system. So Mr. Lazy, make yerself at home because you'll be staying in me for a very long time.

And I have a confession: I actually have nothing to blog about. *Runs away screaming, expecting to be chased.

calculator love

2009-05-29T23:56:00.006+08:00

You know what bugs me? Bugs. No, not Bugs Bunny. Bugs Bunny kicks ass, man. I've always wanted to visit his hole. And I certainly do not mean that kind of hole, idiot. I mean his bunny-hole in the ground. Anyway, I seriously hate cockroaches.

Have you ever heard of a Lynz who doesn't own a wardrobe where all her clothes are supposed to go? Well, you're looking at one! Oh wait, you can't see me. Oh well. I am one. Ahuh, I need to organize my dressing room and I think I'll do it tomorrow morning. Well, that's if I manage to wake up before PM comes after the numbers on the clock on my phone.

Here are a few random things I need to get out of my chest for no particular reason:

Ren and Stimpy scares the shit out of me.
Some of my cousins are coming over tomorrow to show me how to make Sushi.
I need to find my Little Miss Naughty t-shirt because it's been decades since I've worn it.
I want to spank __________________. (Any volunteers?)
I need a dose of P B and J Otter. Gah!

Oh, I stared at the moon a few hours ago and I saw a face -- a very cheerful one. I don't know if that's supposed to be either weird, scary or cool but um, yeah. Now that I mentioned it, I'm kind of freaked out.

apples and bananas

2009-05-26T14:41:00.004+08:00

It's wonder time! I wonder:

Why everything has to be complicated.
Why chlorophyll can't be pink instead of green.
Why pigs can't fly.
Why I'm obsessed with panties.
Why I'm so negative 98.7% of the time.
Why Sunflowers don't last long.
Why a sponge would live in a pineapple under the sea when it could live in a watermelon up in the sky.
Why you smell so good.
Why I wonder so much.
Why I haven't had Cakoi for so long.

If you've answers for any 2 of these, do call me. Fuck yes, I'm too lazy to update.

powerless

2009-05-13T12:32:00.017+08:00

I keep wondering what's going to happen everyday. And there are times when I don't want to, but my brain refuses to stop. But sometimes I'm capable of ignoring things and that's why I'm still sane. Wait, am I?

Also, I wonder why some people are just plain fucked up although I am one who believes that everything that happens was already planned out by God anyway.

Today, when I came back from school, I found the kitchen-TV facing the floor, helplessly crying for help because it was an innocent victim of some stupid maniac's raging fit.

But I still want a baby turtle because I know it'll make me happy. You know why? Because I'll have someone to talk to everyday about my problems. And I could, like Little Bill who named his hamster 'Elephant', name my baby turtle 'Calculator'. I know exactly what you're thinking -- it's the most adorable-est name ever.

And here's something extremely random, like everything else on this stupid blog; I wrote Basyirahh Taib a memo when we were in the ICT Lab, telling her that I love her. Hehehehehehehehehehe. And I forgot yesterday was the 12th of May so I need to make it up to Nurul Fitri that I almost forgot to wish her a kick-ass birthday. And I still want a baby turtle. Oh wait, I said that.

monsters in your head

2009-05-12T19:16:00.008+08:00

I just realized, thanks to The 11th Hour, how much we, humans, have destroyed the undoubtedly beautiful Earth and how much we're destroying it as we speak. It's sad, isn't it? It just makes me want to clean my room more often. Wait, that doesn't make sense, does it? Well, you know what else doesn't make sense? They named Ritz crackers Ritz crackers.

On another note, the canteen on the left sells Green Tea now! And I'm in a blank state for the time being because the sky is blue and I know why but I'm not going to tell you because you didn't ask.

PS. I wish I was capable of sorting out all existing problems.
(And with this video, I shall end my post. Yes, I am on a 90's marathon. Hahahahah)

love comes around

2009-05-11T15:58:00.014+08:00

I smell good because I haven't showered, and the reason for that is because I just ate. And you can't shower or bathe right after you eat. Why, you ask? Well, here's a rather interesting answer I got somewhere;

The water goes right in your pores and then straight to your stomach, filling you up even more. If you shower too long or with really hot water it fills up even faster. If you don't regurgitate/vomit right away you can actually have your stomach explode. That is also why you're not hungry after taking a shower with an empty stomach. So if we want to solve the world hunger problem we should get everyone a shower.

Yes, what an opening. How rude (or random) of me. Hello. Mhmm, Lynz has decided to come back into the blogging world because her life is a big bore. Okay, not really. I just miss typing a sh*tload of random crap and posting it somewhere 'appropriate'.

I had butter-milk chicken with rice at school.
Whoa, that is such a rare sentence. Makes me want to say it again.
I had butter-milk chicken with rice at school.
I had butter-milk chicken with rice at school.